"It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We can subordinate feelings to values. We have the responsibility to make things happen" (71).
Reactive Language Proactive Language There's nothing I can do Let's look at alternatives. That's just the way I am. I can choose a different approach. He makes me so mad. I control my own feelings. Thcy won't allow me that. I can create an effective presentation. I have to do that. I will choose an appropriate response. I can't. I choose. I must. I prefer. If only. I will.
Develop a personal mission statement. Set goals.
Know what is important to you and then concentrate on that.
"Think win/win is the Habit of interpersonal leadership. It involves the exercise of each of the unique human endowments-- self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will-- in our relationships with others. It involves mutual learning, mutual influence, mutual benefits" (216).
"Seek first to understand involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. They're either speaking or preparing to speak. They're filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiographies into other people's lives" (239).
"What is synergy? Simply defined, it means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It means that the relationship which the parts have to esch other is a part in and of itself" (262 - 63).
"The essence of synergy is to value differences--to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weakness" (263).
"Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods working feverisbly to saw down a tree.
"'What are you Doing?' you ask.
"'Can't you see?' comes the impatient reply. 'I'm sawing down this tree '
"'You look exhausted!' you exclaim. 'How long have you been at if?
"'Over five hours,' he returns, 'and I'm beat! This is hard work.'
"Well why don't you take a break for a few nunutes and sharpen the saw?' you inquire. 'I'm sure it would go a lot faster.'
"'I don't have time to sharpen the saw,' the man says emphatically. 'I'm too busy sawing!'" (287).
"Habit 7 is personal PC. It's preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have-- you. It's renewing the four dimensions of your nature-- physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional" (288).